


I Won't Let You Break Me

by Phillipa19



Series: Pretty Little Plaything [6]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Bottom Louis, Dominance, M/M, Older Zayn, Past Abuse, Power Play, Rich Zayn, Top Zayn, Violence, and i don't want to trigger anyone, but it's clearly stated, but still smut, ermmm i can't think of more tags, it's not graphic, like a shit ton of angst, please be careful becasue there's mentions of, there's not actually that much smut for once, toy boy louis, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-18
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-05 02:52:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1088740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillipa19/pseuds/Phillipa19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn is going into a business deal with a man Louis hasn't seen since he was 17 and bruised black and blue, and Louis doesn't know how to convince his older lover that he should stop the deal. With their wedding on the horizon, Louis is starting to question whether one day Zayn could turn out to be just like the nightmares of his past.</p><p> </p><p>The one where Louis is made to confront the abuse in his past and made to figure out if he can trust Zayn not to follow in those same foot steps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Won't Let You Break Me

**Author's Note:**

> SO I FINALLY WROTE PART 6!
> 
> This part is seriously angsty, i mean, i know Louis has always been pretty angsty in this series, but this is bad even for him. This also went in quite a dark direction because i felt like you guys needed to understand the history i had in mind every time i wrote Louis' character. I always thought his history was really important in understanding why Louis is so clingy and self-conscious and so, well, everything, so i basically dedicated this part to that and to some character development stuff of Louis taking the next step in trusting Zayn. 
> 
> I hope you like it :)

**6 months later**

 

When Zayn had told Louis it was time to start organising the wedding, Louis had been excited, filled to the brim with happiness. Now that he stood in the shop, his eyes caught on one of the example wedding cakes in the bakery he and Jane were perusing, he just felt afraid.

 

Before, the possibility of Zayn leaving him had been hurtful but almost expected, but if they were married and Zayn left him, Louis would have lost all allure. The point of people like him, was that they were to be simple, no strings. If they knew he was divorced, they’d never go near him. He’d be alone. Or worse.

 

When you seemed low class, when you were the bottom of the barrel, then these powerful men and women became even more terrifying. When the better ones wouldn’t take you, it meant you had to resort to going home with the ones who were dangerous, who liked to mix pain with their pleasure, and had no quarrels in making you beg for every penny they gave you. Louis knew better than most. When he had started in this game, he had been a no one. He’d been new, almost too young for most of them to go near for fear of backlash in magazines. But of course that meant that there were the ones who sought him out for that youthfulness; who liked the idea of marking young, untouched skin. In all walks of life, you get the cruel ones, but in this world those people had enough money to soundproof their homes so no one would ever hear your screams.

 

Louis knew why he was thinking all of this, knew why the old memories of pain and fear had resurfaced from the box he had shoved them into years ago; Zayn had had a business meeting this morning, and when Louis had accidently barged in on it, and come face to face with Zayn’s business associate, every safe guard he’d had against those memories had crumbled. He’d kept his mask not showing that man a single iota of what he was feeling, he’d told Zayn his shopping plans with a smile, and then he’d gone to his bedroom and screamed into a pillow until his voice cracked and broke.

 

When he had first showed up in the world of the rich and famous, he’d been so eager, so desperate and willing to do anything. Louis had grown up in and out of foster care homes, the problem child that people picked for his pretty blue eyes then sent back for his big mouth. He’d been pretty lucky, he’d only had to deal with one man who got a bit too handsy, who pushed at the limits of what a real dad would do, touching him in places that baffled his young mind. And he’d only been there for a couple months, when he knew a lot of boys who were stuck in those kinds of places for years. So Louis understood the badness of the world, even so young. He understood there were very few people you should ever let your guard down in front of.

 

When he’d talked to a young man in a club, finding out that the boy earned a lot of money by basically being a live-in rent-boy, at first Louis had been disgusted. He hadn’t liked the sound of shagging some old rich bloke for a couple quid, but the boy- Davey- had smiled at his ignorance and stretched out his wrist to flash a million pound, diamond encrusted watch. ‘And that was just for a blow job’ Davey had laughed. And when later a gorgeous man in an expensive suit had come to collect Davey- along with about 5 body guards- Louis had started to see the merits of his line of work. Davey had looked at him with a knowing look before slyly handing Louis a card with his number on it, telling him to get in touch if he wanted a chance at that life.

 

It’d taken Louis a week of thought before he’d decided to give Davey a ring.

 

‘You sure you want to do this? It’s a big commitment, and it can get a little dangerous sometimes. How old are you anyway?’ Davey had asked him as they sipped coffee in a coffee house near the hostel Louis was currently staying in.

 

‘I just turned 16. And I’m basically hopping from hostel to hostel every two weeks, and then I’m on park benches if no where can take me, I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay.’ Louis had been so over confident. Young and foolish, thinking that just because he’d had a harder life than most kids his age, he’d be able to handle anything thrown at him.

 

‘Just . . . Stay safe, okay? I don’t want to be responsible for messing your life up.’ Louis had ignored the danger in Davey’s words, had thrown himself head first into the world of glitz and glamour. He’d gone on a few dates at first, trying to find someone he would sleep with for money but thought was attractive enough to be worth it. So when he’d met Samuel Silkstone, he’d thought he’d found the perfect piggy bank. Samuel was in his late 30’s, not much younger than Zayn. The difference was that Louis was only 16, not nearly 23. Samuel was a massive powerhouse in his business, a man responsible for a lot of people’s incomes, and definitely feared by many. But Louis had ignored the gentle warnings Davey had given him against going for him, seeing the man as both beautiful and powerful and therefore perfect.

 

When after a few dates Samuel had offered Louis a room in his penthouse apartment, Louis had jumped at the chance. Soon Louis had more sparkly gifts and money than he knew what to do with, and he’d thought he was the luckiest boy alive. Until things started to change. Samuel started to manhandle him a little more than Louis was comfortable, and when Louis would carefully ask him to be a little gentler, he’d get mad and Louis wouldn’t be given anything else until he had apologised on his knees, begging with his mouth open wide for forgiveness that Samuel would often withhold just to punish him. It wasn’t just gifts and money he took away either, it was even the basics, like food.

He’d tell Louis that he was too fat, would only give him one small meal a day, and that was only if he was feeling generous. Then the abuse started.

 

It started off as a few slaps during sex, things that could be passed off as passion, but it soon escalated until any time Louis talked out of turn or did something to irritate him, he’d get slapped around the face so hard his vision would white out. Soon he couldn’t go outside without applying multiple layers of foundation and concealer to his face and other visible parts of his body. Louis had even attempted to leave. He wasn’t a victim, he wasn’t someone to just lay down and take it. But when one day he had packed his bags and attempted to leave, getting so far as renting a hotel room and feeling safe, Samuel had found him. Had innocently knocked on the door, and in Louis’ foolish innocence he’d opened it without asking for the person’s name.

 

Samuel had slapped Louis so hard he’d been thrown against a chest of drawers and split open his forehead. Samuel had merely dragged him back to his home and had one of his staff bandage the cut.

 

Louis had known that going to the police wouldn’t help. He’d get done for soliciting sex and anything charged against Samuel wouldn’t stand a chance against his expensive lawyers. So Louis had endured, learning to bandage himself up with enough skill that he didn’t end up with many scars. He’d been in that Hell for an entire year.

 

The change had been just after his 17th birthday, Louis had been desperate, his lip split and bleeding down his chin after he’d accidently dropped an expensive glass and Samuel had punished him. He’d gone to the bathroom to clean the blood up and noticed it’d dripped onto his white t-shirt. He’d shrugged the shirt off and when he’d looked up into the mirror at the skin bared, he had barely recognised himself. He’d followed every bruise and scar and still raw scratch over his skin and decided that either he got away from this man, or he died trying.

 

He’d waited until Samuel was asleep that night, had packed his bags and taken multiple buses, criss-crossing as much as he could, paying with cash anywhere he went, leaving nothing to be easily traced. He found a little Bed and Breakfast that let him pay cash and he’d holed-down. He’d gone to the corner shop and stocked up on food and other necessities, and had barricaded the door to his room with most of the furniture in the room. He’d stayed like that for a week before daring to head out and find somewhere to buy a pay-as-you-go crappy mobile phone. He’d entered Davey’s number and begged him for help. Luckily Davey had had a good relationship with his ‘boyfriend’, not as intimate as he and Zayn’s, but still caring. His boyfriend had given Louis a room to stay in, in his large home and Davey had convinced him that he wanted to help Louis. Louis didn’t know how, didn’t know what deals or threats were made, but after that Samuel left him alone.

 

From then on he’d had very little trust, and a whole lot of self preservation instincts. Strangely it had been Harry that had changed things, made him realise that not everyone wanted to hurt him. When he had parted with Harry on good terms, he had started to have a little more fun with his job.

 

When he was only 20, he’d walked into a charity event with a confidence that he’d used to target a certain Zayn Malik. Zayn had been the host of the event, beautiful and dark in his designer suit, and Louis had known he would do anything to be with him. At first, Louis had been terrified. In many respects, Zayn was just like Samuel; older, powerful, a darkness in his eyes that warned of secrets and a ruthlessness not to be messed with. When Louis had first been invited back to Zayn’s home, he had been tense, awaiting the moment Zayn would prove himself just as violent as Samuel. But he had completely and utterly floored Louis.

 

Zayn had been tender from the very first time they kissed. He was a dominant man, he liked playing with the power he held, but not once had he taken it over that line where pleasure becomes pain, where confinement becomes stifling, where utter possession becomes degradation and a disregard to Louis’ status as a human being. At first, Zayn’s possession had frightened him; he’d waited for the hand around his neck to squeeze, for the quiet fury in his voice to turn to screaming anger, for the strong hands to hold too tight and bruise. But it never came. Louis had gotten desperate, had even tried provoking Zayn to get a response, to get the response he would have from Samuel, but Zayn had looked into his eyes and known. Zayn had always taken time to ask himself why Louis acted the way he did, and when he’d decided that Louis had a purpose for his little rebellions, he would sit him down and not let him run away from the problem.

 

Louis had bared himself to Zayn. The problem he was now realising was that though Louis had admitted to an abusive relationship, he’d never told a name or shared specific details. And now he was going into business with a man straight from Louis’ worst nightmares.

 

When Jane tapped him on the shoulder, Louis was yanked out of the nightmare of his past and into the future which was this god awful wedding cake sat in front of him.

 

“I hate it,” Louis murmured.

 

“Me, too. This whole shop is pretty shit if I’m quite honest,” Jane said quietly, but not quietly enough if the shop assistant’s glare was anything to go by.

 

They walked out of the shop and into the cold air of December, Jane’s hand sat in the crook of his arm, her head tilted to rest against his shoulder as they slowly strolled along.

 

“What’s wrong?” Jane asked softly, her voice filled with the kind of understanding that came from a woman who had experienced all of the things he had, at least in some respects.

 

“I have . . .” Louis knew he needed to talk about this, to get rid of it before the filth could putrefy in his mind, but he found it hard to push the words out of his tight throat. “I don’t know what to do about . . . a difficult situation I’ve been put in with Zayn,” Louis said cautiously.

 

“What kind of situation?” Jane asked calmly, giving his arm a little squeeze.

 

“He’s going into business with someone who I don’t want within the same country as me, never mind the same room,” Louis said honestly and Jane gave a little chuckle, lifting her head to kiss his cheek softly, reaching a thumb up to brush away the little lip gloss smear she’d left behind.

 

“Honey, you’re getting married to this man. Married. You do have some say in what he does. You’re allowed to ask him to stay away from this man. Whatever this guy did to make you hate him, as long as it’s not a stupid reason, then I’m sure Zayn will understand and want to make you happy, even at the loss of quid a breach of deal would mean,” Jane explained rationally and Louis almost accepted it, but then his insecurities came flooding back, warning him not to push Zayn, that money was more important that Louis feeling uncomfortable, that he should never do anything to hinder Zayn’s career.

 

“N-no, I mean. I can handle it, I’m an adult. I’ll be fine, forget about it,” Louis said with a mock smile before turning Jane’s attention to the shop across the road, suggesting they have a look in there, mainly to get her to let the subject drop.

 

***

 

For an entire week, Zayn had business meetings with Samuel at his home office. For an entire week, Louis lived in trembling fear of his own shadow. One day he’d even dared venture out of his room, hungry and determined that ‘why should I be scared in my own home?’. He’d been walking back upstairs with a glass of orange juice and a sandwich on a plate when half way up he’d lifted his head and noticed Samuel coming down the stairs. Louis had started to panic but told himself that Samuel wouldn’t do anything, would maybe give him a glare and keep walking. But when they started to pass, Samuel stopped and turned to face him and Louis was helpless but to stop too. Samuel had leant in, pressing Louis into the wall, one hand casually pressed to the wall beside Louis’ head, and smiled. Louis had felt the awful tremor of fear return, felt it climb up his back, churn in his stomach.

 

‘Bet you feel really smug right now? Huh, pet?’ Samuel’s voice was just how he remembered it, and it made him want to throw up.

 

Louis had squeaked out a breathless ‘No.’ Samuel had then lifted his hand to brush his fingertips over Louis’ cheekbone. And Louis had dropped everything he was holding. His glass of orange juice smashed at his feet, glass spraying everywhere on the marble stairs and the sticky liquid coating the floor and his shins. His plate and sandwich bounced a few steps before the plate shattered too. Samuel moved back to a ‘safe’ distance from him and Louis stood wide eyed and panicking. Would Zayn punish him? Would he hurt him for breaking things like an idiot? Louis couldn’t stop the shaking of his body, the utter fear in his eyes as Zayn came downstairs with a confused expression. Zayn had seen Louis and the mess around his bare feet and when Louis had attempted to move forwards to beg for forgiveness, Zayn had barked a quick ‘No!’ before rushing down the stairs and carefully picking Louis up, carrying his trembling body to the bottom of the stairs with ease.

 

‘You nearly cut your feet, little one,’ Zayn has said with a soft smile, kissing him on the forehead before walking away to find a member of their staff to clean up the mess. And Louis had felt ridiculous. He knew Zayn was nothing like Samuel, would never ever hurt him, especially not for an accident. Louis hated that he’d even thought that of Zayn. When Samuel came down the stairs he had a thoughtful expression and Louis knew, he knew he was confused by Zayn’s tenderness, had been looking forward to Zayn punishing Louis.

 

It continued for the rest of the week, Samuel would take any opportunity to rattle Louis until finally, Louis had simply had enough of being afraid in his own home.

 

When he knew Samuel had gone home, Louis cautiously made his way to Zayn’s office, knocking on the door and only entering when Zayn called out a welcome.

 

“Hello darling,” Zayn smiled at him as soon as the door opened and Louis took a deep breath before padding over to him, feeling vulnerable since he was clad in only a pair of black boxers and a baggy t-shirt that was actually longer than the underwear, swallowing his tiny frame. Louis padded around the desk and Zayn rolled his chair back so that Louis could lower himself onto his lap, curl up against his chest and feel secure in Zayn’s firm embrace. “What has you so quiet? I think this is the longest I’ve been without that pretty laugh of yours, and I’m not enjoying the experience.” Zayn murmured against his hair and Louis almost cried at how lovely Zayn was to him. Louis nuzzled his face into Zayn’s shirt-covered chest and spoke against it, the fabric muffling his voice a little but not enough that Zayn’s wouldn’t hear him.

 

“When is your deal over with Sa- Mr Silkstone?” Louis stammered and he could feel Zayn’s mind working over his words.

 

“What is going on, Louis?” Zayn asked softly, but his words brooked no argument, Louis wouldn’t get away without telling him the truth.

 

“I don’t like him,” Louis murmured and Zayn lifted a hand to sift his fingers through the hair at the back of Louis’ head.

 

“Why not, little pet?” Zayn asked and Louis stomach churned when he remembered Samuel calling him pet, and hated that Samuel had poisoned one of Zayn’s lovely endearments.

 

“He . . . I used to know him. When I was young . . . He was m-my first c-client,” Louis forced out, knowing that he needed to tell Zayn, that Zayn deserved to know. Zayn was silent for a moment before his fingers tightened in Louis’ hair and he tugged until Louis was forced to lift his face and let Zayn look at him, but he kept his eyes away from Zayn’s, afraid of what he might see there.

 

“Hmm, but I don’t think you’re telling me everything.” Zayn said softly and Louis nibbled at his lower lip, shooting a nervous look at Zayn and noticing that so far he seemed confused but not angry.

 

“I want you to stop working with him,” Louis whispered and tensed his whole body, expecting to be shot down.

 

“Are you going to tell me what he did to make you afraid of him?” Zayn murmured and Louis looked into his eye with eyes that sparkled cerulean with unshed tears. “You misunderstand, baby. I’m not saying that your reason better be good enough. I’m saying okay. It is done. I will cut all ties in the morning. I’m asking what he did, simply because I love you and I care about what hurts you. If you decide that you do not wish to tell me, then I’ll be sad but I’ll still never go into business with the man again,” Zayn said calmly, casually, as if what he had just said hadn’t tore down every single one of Louis’ guards. A single tear left Louis’ eye and Zayn reached up to brush it away with his thumb, leaving his hand on Louis’ cheek and leaving Louis helpless but to nuzzle into the touch, needy and searching.

 

“I told you that I had a client who . . . who hurt me. It was Samuel,” Louis whispered into Zayn’s palm, eyes downcast, lashes fluttering against his pink cheeks.

 

“How did he hurt you?” Zayn murmured.

 

“He’d hit me. Punish me if I made mistakes or annoyed him, which was often. He wouldn’t let me eat because he thought I was too fat. I was so, so afraid of him. I spent a year being beaten black and bloody. W-when we met I was afraid that’d you’d be the same,” Louis added, knowing that Zayn had to know this, that if they were going to get married then Louis couldn’t have secrets, they’d just eat away at him. “But you were gentle. You’re loving and beautiful and you make me happy. I like being yours, I love that you call me yours, that you’re so possessive. I need that, I think. I’m too insecure and I need that concrete reassurance that you . . . own me. When . . . When I saw him here, I felt sick, I felt like I needed to get away from him, like I needed to beg you to get him away from me. I was afraid to ask you to because I didn’t know if you’d be angry, if you’d tell me I wasn’t more important than your work,” Louis said, still not meeting Zayn’s eyes, playing with a loose thread on the bottom of his t-shirt.

 

“You will always be more important than work, Louis. There is always another deal, another contract to be made. But there is only one of you,” Zayn murmured as he lifted Louis’ left hand, pressing  soft kiss to the ring on his finger and making Louis blush and finally regain the courage to look into Zayn’s deep, brown eyes. “I will never go near the man again if that is what you want. And after I’m done with him, not many other people will want to go near either,” Zayn said and Louis heard the hard edge, saw the darkness in Zayn’s eyes, the anger at a man who had hurt what he loves. Louis sat there quietly for a few minutes and Zayn patiently waited for him to speak, content to simply watch the beautiful creature that was his young fiancé.

 

“Me and Jane looked at wedding cakes last week,” Louis offered carefully and a wide smile stretched Zayn’s lips, flashing gleaming white teeth and a hint of pink from the tongue he pressed to the back of them; a genuine smile that Louis always felt lucky to see.

 

“Did you find one you like?” Zayn asked, his happiness in every syllable.

 

“They were all terrible,” Louis said with an appropriate amount of haughty flare, making Zayn chuckle, a sound that flushed Louis’ cheeks a soft pink in pleasure. Louis leant forwards to press his lips to Zayn’s.

 

“But I did go into a bridal store and find a pretty garter belt,” Louis whispered against Zayn’s lips, his close proximity meaning he felt it clearly when Zayn’s breath hitched at the mental image of what Louis had just described. Zayn’s hand tightened in the hair at Louis’ nape and it arched his neck so that Zayn could attack the pale column of his neck with biting kisses. When Zayn stripped Louis of his oversized shirt before splaying him on the rug in his office, watching at the firelight danced over his skin, Louis felt it. He felt something inside him fall into place, taking away any fear he had about Zayn’s love and devotion for him. And when Zayn moved inside him in a torturously slow glide, his body moving sinuously, the firelight caressing every dip and hollow of his long, lean body, Louis felt like the luckiest man alive that he was owned by this stunning creature. For the first time he didn’t think of the wedding and worry about it not working out, about Zayn leaving him when he got bored or fed up with Louis’ self-conscious clingy nature.

 

Zayn was his forever. Now all he had to do was survive meeting his soon-to-be-in-laws at the engagement party. Something told Louis that he didn’t have an easy ride ahead of him.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it, you were such big fans of the other parts so i didn't want to let you down. I've left it kind of open-ended so that if this part gets as much love as the other parts then i can maybe write a Part 7 :)
> 
> Pretty please leave a comment so i can work off of what you guys have to say :)


End file.
